princessjayxel:

“It’s hard to believe in coincidence, but it’s even harder to believe in anything else.”

I want to memorize you. Your favorite color, what you were like as a kid, how old you were when you first learned to ride a bike. How you got the scar on your foot, your every scar. The  voices you have; tired, daily, sultry, and everything in between. Your face when your sleeping. I want to memorize you as if you were my favorite book that I’d never put down, understand you as if you were the final strokes on a painting that’s close to being a masterpiece, and be completed with you like the final piece to a half million piece jigsaw puzzle I’ve been working a majority of my life on. 

Why cant i move on? Nakakapagod na. Kahit anong gawin ko wala talaga.

Binura ko na yung number niya sa CP. Unfriend sa FB. Hindi ko na siya nakikita. Yeah, dumating sa point na, nakalimutan ko na yung itsura niya pati boses niya. But nung naririnig ko yung pangalan niya, napapatigil na lang ako. WAH. Apektado pa din ako. NO COMMUNICATION. No approaches.  I survive. Akalain mo yun? After noon, i been cold. Para bang wala na kong pakiramdam.

It’s been FIVE YEARS now.

Akala ko ok na. Akala ko na ka-moveon na ko. Today, first time ko ulit view yung profile niya sa FB. Ang dami na nagbago sa kanya. Ang dami ko ng hindi alam. Nung una nakangiti pa ko habang tinitingnan ko yung mga pictures niya. Oo nga pala ganoon nga pala yung itsura niya. Gusto ko ulit nadinig yung boses niya.

Tapos naisip ko hanapin yung nga LOVE LETTERS namin dati. Haha, ang panget ng sulat niya. Haha. Nakatago pa pala, akala ko kasi tinapon ko na yun. WEIRD.  Bakit ako nalulungkot? Akala ko okay na ko eh. Naisip ko lang ilang taon na, bakit ganito pa din? Hindi ko maintindihan.

FIRST LOVE. :(